All Hope Abandon Ye.

My apologies for the long hiatus, fellow earthlings and the tiny huge group of people who read my blog ! Yes, I’m talking about you, my ravishing reader who will not be stalked by angst-ridden squirrels just cause’ you read this blog.

Anyway, the reason for my absence was because I was suffering from a case of writer’s block. The thing that motivated me to get my lazy ass moving was the fact when I checked my email. What surprised the socks out of me was that I got a new subscriber! which got me heaving sobs that dear Lord, some people actually in this world read this blog.

Yes, This blog. Don’t be so cynical.

What got me around to choosing ‘No’ as a subject were a series of events that culminated in a number of pleasant and unpleasant situations. ‘No’ is such a precarious word with its various implications and for some people like me, it’s hard to just say no to someone.

I have a friend who agreed to proof read couple of people’s  work even though she had to finish her own assignment with a deadline looming over her head. However, she just couldn’t say ‘All hope abandon ye who think I’ll do their work.’

The same thing happened to me in a very different way.

Extremely evil chick whom I despise:  (lots of useless stuff which I forgot including something about how great my hair looked – FYI, that day, my tresses resembled like it was ravaged by cannibalistic goats over a dead human ) “can you do it?”

Me: …uh, I don’t…know.

EEC: Oh, please! Please, writes2escape! Pleeeeaseeee. 

Me (trying hard not to kill myself with the pen): All hope abaa - S…sure?

 

The thing is it took every ounce of me not to lose my shit there and then. I’m a nice person.
(No, seriously. I am) but then I end up getting used by people such as EEC. See, the problem here.

Anywhoozers, I propose that y’all practice saying ‘No’ to people like EEC because these people will continue to use you even when they write you nice messages on face the book. Sorry, It’s a lie. Just a big conspiracy theory to wrap your minds in some weird voodoo ju-ju so you feel like you’re on crack and then wham! You’ve been served.

OhMyGoodness, I found a song today which I heard two years back but I couldn’t remember the name. This always happens. I always find forgotten songs by accident. This means…This means, I HAZ THE SUPER POWERS.

Listening now: just for now – Imogen Heap

You infuriate me.

You’re Too Old to Bully and ‘The’ Checklist.

Britney Spears in her song ”Circus” very astutely described the types of people:

“There’s only two types of people in the world The ones that entertain and the ones that observe,”

I’m convinced Ms. Spears is a genius.

They’re also, some highly intelligent morons, who entertain themselves at the cost of others. They usually find themselves very funny and beyond everyone else’s sphere of cognizance - even if they don’t, these species act:

a) Cocky as heck.

So yes, when Snotty Princess came strutting by at the doom school, after a weekend of her and I, happily chatting up on the facebooky for the first time; I was in for a big surprise. Facebook, for the record, is absolute baloney. You think people are actually that sweet and nice in real life? I’m sorry to break this terrible news to you – Most of them are not. They are a literal anus in life. Yes. That anus in the human anatomy. So, it hit me like a shock of cold water – not anus – that while, I’m being perfectly candid, Snotty P was so not the candidate for propriety. For starters, if you’ve got an opinion, you cutie shamotie, Wait in line. Don’t just interrupt someone else - as their faces burn in embarrassment - with your own ”endearing” dictatorial-esque intellect even if it’s done in “good fun”. I wanted to give you several liver lacerations afterwards- with a pencil.

I lol’d hard after class because A) The heat can totally molest your head. b) After writing, I realize I’m free of lapsing into pensiveness, because the conclusion would always be: Snotty P is a complete witch.

I must jot this down with great sadness; yes, bullying happens in college too.

Also, my week’s checklist which I’m going to follow or  I’m going to bust mine someone’s head.

1. I will try penning down the notes which spill from the Prof’s mouth, no matter how bland the subject.

2. I will stop listening to Death Metal, to counter the depressive streak that has inflamed suddenly inside of me since hearing the countless profanities in ghoulish or Gollum – whatever it is called, is not helping.

3. I will continue using the amazing ability of controlling my facial muscles when that E-Sush comes floucing by, and thinks I’m always trying to be such a know-it-all. What is this? 4th grade?

4. I will stop thinking of the transvestite in the play.

5. I’m not going to hate studying in my college. AGAIN.

6. Oh God. I think I would break rule 5 like in the next minute. Just did it.

7. Public Skills. ASAP.

8. Think it’s better to show people you’re a bad witch so they can’t walk all over you like THAT INCIDENT THAT HAPPENED WITH ME. If you heckle me again, so God help me, I’ll certainly neuter you for sure, and then donate your eggs to sharks someone.

P.S: Some of you found this blog by searching for ”Bdmaash Boys” . I  mean really? *Arches eyebrow* Bdmaash boys? Is this a hot local movie I missed? Rawr.

Listening now: Children of Bodom -Tie my Rope

It’s Just Peachy that We Get So Much Work Aimed To Kill A Whale

I’m honestly so tired, it’s a wonder I can pound my fingers over the keys. It’s been two weeks since I started my sojourn in College land. While I’m thrilled with the amount of work load aimed to kill even a whale, It’s kind of sad, I don’t get to blog as much and read everyone’s perky, enticing blog posts about how you managed to make the perfect apple pie or euthanize your cat cetera cetera. Y’know fun stuff! Anyhooo, the first days of college were really depressing, I can’t really put my finger exactly where I hated it most because then I need to have…uhhh fifteen twenty fingers at least?

Everybody here seems to have such a sartorial grace about them. It’s kind of like watching Animal Fashion Planet – with humans of course.

A Serious Case of Faaaishon Faux Pas

Also, there is a desperate urge to correct someone’s incorrect behavior. If you don’t like something, hell yeah voice your opinion. We live in a goddamn democracy after all. I’m so happy, I came here.

I have a quiz on Tuesday – This one better be good than today’s disastrous one. I literally wrote nothing except mostly to show the professor how stupid and uncouth I am. Hey, at least I didn’t have to try so hard, right?

 

Listening now: Cold – Stupid girl.

Freshman Year Begins!

Tomorrow is  the day, I officially start going to College. First Day Jitters!

Hell Yeah, this kid is off to college

Ten years ago, I probably wouldn’t have seen myself as a college Kid. Heck, I can’t believe how fast the time has passed by. It just seems yesterday, I was in school switching back and forth to different career options. Feeling that I was a talent-less reject, having a much talented sibling plus relatives that stalked my Facebook updates, I considered deleting my account and putting myself under a house arrest. So basically a hobo…with a house and body modifications: which means drawing tattoos with a sharpie, not cutting myself. Everybody knows if I come home with a real tattoo, my parents would probably throw up a wrench and proceed to blame all my friends for this gross misconduct.

But here I am, still in town, still have my name and marching – albeit – nervously to college. Did I mention that I have no idea how the people would be  like? Would I ever fit in or become a lone wolf? (Okay, so I hated everyone in school. Bunch of pompous tools. Thus, I don’t harbor great sentiments about it ) Oh and Public Speaking! Lord, don’t let me embarrass myself like I did the 14, 213 times, but knowing my earlier track record – Thank you, God – I most probably will. Bring your cameras along!

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Oh, This Is Such Happy Bit of News, Dear

OhMaiGod. You guys.

I have two things with me right now. I would have played ‘Guess what’s in my hand’ game with you like I played with family and strangers out on the street.

Me: KNOW WHAT? GUESS WHAT’S IN MY HAND!

Old lady watering her plants (shocked and perplexed): …

Me: of course, it’s a letter, since my fists are too small! BUT WHAT IS INSIDE THE LETTER? WHATTT?

Old lady backs away slowly.

Me: HUZZAH! *lots of maniacal laughter.

 

Anyway, I have…one acceptance letter and one rejection letter from two different universities.

I don’t know what to write now. It’s only been a couple of  hours since the letter arrived and I was so giddy and downright obscenely happy with the fact that I got admission in the top university so much that I didn’t give a flying duck about the reject letter. It’s cool, it’s totally cool – I got the acceptance from the uni. I wanted to get into.

But I’ll keep the reject letter from the other as well. For nostalgia purposes.

After a year of tantrums, spontaneous wrath break outs and posts about squirrels, I’m finally going into a good university.

My parents are overjoyed – because they’ll be getting rid of the child that listened to doom metal and lay on her bed all day long with bags under her eyes. Purple shadows underneath your eyes are not an emblem of beauty – according to the standards set by most people.   My eleven year old cousin even asked me in his usual droll grumble, “Did you get punched by someone?”

I digress. Let’s celebrate write2escape’s acceptance by being rowdy in my comment section and of course stuffing your face in junk that would make you fat. Hallelujah!

Oh and my country is 63 years old Today! =)

Listening now: The rules by Elysion.

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