You Can’t Have A Twitter Tea-Party Without These

Can I just say HOMG? I came across a really amazing thing when my friends and I were in the college cafeteria where, as usual, I was dreaming about stuffing artery clogging french fries (Because nearly everything that clogs your arteries tastes divine) when we suddenly saw this:

Legit biscuits from the hood.
J.K!
Would you like them with tea?

Immediately, my reaction was first of pure bewilderment: “Oh hellz yes, are you seeing this? Twitter biscuits? This just proves that God is here. God show yourself! ” and then I went, “Wait. Isn’t this illegal? Would we be committing a crime by knowingly buying this? Like crack cocaine?” and then I started cackling silently which totally meant I was thinking of buying them. Instead I took out my pre-historic phone and captured a horrible quality picture before proceeding to fondle the packet which was apparently inappropriate because someone wrenched it out of my hands.

Our excitement was so infectious upon finding the Twitter yummeries, that the man behind the counter, who had no inkling what Twitter was and why a bunch of girls were suddenly acting like they have just seen galloping rainbow unicorns bludgeoning someone’s head (No, that was just me), started chuckling as well even though he was probably confused.

Twitter spreads smiles. Tis’ true, fellas.

Mr. Ridiculously Photogenic

I do believe I'm God's gift to mankind.

The photo of this man (Left) in the middle of a 10k run has apparently gone viral over the internet. Why you ask? I will explain in a moment. Why did it seem so newsworthy to many news websites, particularly, yahoo? I dunno.

Apparently Mr. Ridiculously Photogenic, as he has been aptly named, was snapped while he was running –  with a charming smile on his face (Hold your hearts, ladies and some gentlemen). His hair being lightly tousled by the wind as the other runners around him struggle and pant to complete this tortur – I mean, run.

To be fair, he does look incredibly good in the middle of a run. If It was me, I would be tripping behind Mr. Ridiculous covered in sweat, angry red blotches and panting like a dying dog. Of course, being captured like this would mean that many people out there would think I was running away from the police or the mafia and was either mentally challenged/in need of E.R.

Mona Lisa of Our Generation

Related articles

• ‘Ridiculously Photogenic Guy’ picture from 10k race goes viral (sports.yahoo.com)
• Ridiculously Photogenic Guy is a local boy – Charleston City Paper (drugstoresource.wordpress.com)

Let’s Pretend No One Tried to Shoot Me

There are a couple of excuses running through my mind to cover up the lack of posts streaming on your munchkin screens.

1. I got married/ eloped. (The lucky person I nabbed, has a face closely resembling Johnny Depp/ Hayden Christianson/ Chad Michael Murray/ The guy who’s lead vocalist for Abused Romance (So many of God’s beautiful creatures out there. I want to smush all of them in one.  Argh)

2. My backside accidently got glued to the bed – and for some reason, so did my arms and hands. Oh, I used my head and tongue to peck the keys and navigate my way across the world-wide web which was very tedious, ya ka-no. Masochistic vibes.

3. Someone tried to shoot me and this rendered me emotionally traumatized, enough to make me lock myself in my room and threat anyone who dares come in with a katana in my hand. (I always wanted to swing a Katana – and have a Japanese instructor. But mostly just swing a Katana. See below)

You eat my cake. Prepare to die.

4.

I can’t rack my head for number 4 excuse which goes to show that I need to hone my excuse skills because they are bordering on pathetic and desperate but y’know, with awesomeness cometh the tendency to awesome out sometimes or something equally heroic like that. It doesn’t make sense. I know.

Except Excuse # 3 is partly correct since I did almost got shot by a bunch of drunkards who were serenading the streets late at night. My cousin and I were walking down the street, just a bit far from her humble abode when we were rudely interrupted by a car which went zipping past us. A flash of light, a loud sound that made us jump back in alarm before the car swerved around a corner. Then my cousin’s horrified voice broke me out of my stupor.

“They had a gun! They shot at us.”

Pretty scary stuff. Maybe it was another technique to woo us? Too hot for us to handle even though it was a beat-up Suzuki? This has taught me a lesson: Don’t go frolicking in the night – even near your house which is presumably safe because some fudgetarts drunk to their buns might try to point a gun at you and not the one which squirts out water, unfortunately.

U iz drunk, no?

Anyway, that was my happy blog! Next time, I’ll discuss some of the books I’ve been reading and one narcissistic comment I happened to come across while stalking face-the-book.

“they give more preference to the brain(inner beauty shit), rather than looks. =P suckers!”

Really? Sounds like some injustice took place here? But this all – next time. Cheers.

Hope, Ramadan is going absolutely brilliant for you. <3

Boo, It’s Bin Laden !

This gallery contains 1 photos.

Today was a particularly sweltering day. It is May of course, and my skin had started to change color due to the amount of sunshine I’m absorbing, which means I’m starting to look like Snookie’s Asian cousin. God Forbid. Anyway, today … Continue reading →

Pakistani Cricketers Facing Slammer Time?

Anybody who is remotely interested in cricket probably knows about the shameless match fixing scandal involving four Pakistani players – and maybe more.  At a critical time when the country is yearning for some good news, bravo, you managed to make us feel more stupid and humiliated all in one day. Not an easy feat to manage.

BOIZ ROCKIN’ THE WAVES:

Superstar “Veena Malik” whose mission seems to be making Mohammad Asif’s life a living hell (Thank you, You’re the best) is now accusing him of domestic violence. She claims that while she had been stalking him on suspicions that he had been having an affair behind her tush, she discovered his involvement in spot fixing. She also added Asif would beat her up when angry. Sources quoted her as saying “It’s not personal revenge but in the interest of the whole country.” Yawn. Right. So many people have the interest of this country at heart. 

CAN ANYBODY BE MORE INTELLIGENT THAN HAMEED?

After spilling his guts out to an unknown stranger about the matters of his heart (Here is the heart again. More organs coming up) Yasir Hameed denied giving an interview to an undercover reporter even when everybody watched him on the boob tube (Am I the only one who saw the bitterness in his bright eyes?) when he talked about the money his team mates took from brokers when he himself denied millions of pounds because his heart belongs to his country.

Shahid Afridi being the lovable chum that he is, told the sources that Hameed is mentally challenged and thinks like a cute (and dumb) teen boy so don’t pay any attention to him.

So will we get to see the corrupt cricketers spend some good ol’ time in jail? Will Salman Butt, the disgraced captain, stop being Ape-shyt on the telly over this grave matter? Will Veena Malik once and for all halt the press conferences regarding Asif and his misdemeanors? Will Pakistan Cricket rub off its tarnished image and be reborn from the ashes?

I can tell you the answer to the last question. It’s a Yes.

Related articles

• Freed Pakistan cricketer aims to ‘clear his name’ (yorkshirepost.co.uk)