Literature And Other Musings

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo – Book Review


With sleepy vacations, I was totes happy when I went to the book store and finally bought this best seller novel. This is the first book in the trilogy (I’m ready to devour the other two as well)

The first 200 pages needed a bit of trimming, since there were times when I had to set the book down because of the dense plot and the introduction of the numerous characters. Steig Larson was a stickler for details, and it holds true for this book. Each character and place has been decorated with intricacy – even the protagonist’s mentally unstable mother (who appears in the book for about 5 minutes)  is given irrelevant attention.

When I finally went past all the introductions, the book became much more interesting and fluid. The family tree drawing on the first page was a helpful aid to keep track of all the characters appearing in the novel. I merely had to peek back to check who belonged to which son, what relations did they have with whom. It sounds tedious but it becomes easier once you’re wholly into the book.

The book starts off with Mikael Blomkvist, a leading journalist and editor of the financial magazine Millennium  , is found guilty of libel in the Swedish court. At the same time, we are being given our first glimpse of Lisabeth Salander, the girl with the dragon tattoo and other tats as well, a socio-path labelled by the court and in the care of a guardian due to the dysfunctional state of her family. However, Lisabeth is a highly intelligent individual, working as a freelance investigator in a security firm.

His reputation destroyed by the libel label thrown on him, Mikael is contacted by Eric Vanger of the once powerful Vanger empire. Vanger persuades him to take up the case of Harriet Vanger – a 16 year old who went missing thirty years ago. The only Vanger, in Eric Vanger’s opinion,  worthy to take control of the sprawling empire.

Mikael accepts the job although he believes that Eric Vanger is deluding himself to think that he could find out what happened to Harriet after all these years. It is not until he meets Salander (who has been investigating his libel case secretly) that the book begins to unearth explosive cover-ups and graphic violence. The answer to whatever happened to Harriet lies in a horrific past, with disturbing and intriguing consequences.

The most complex character of all was Salander (No surprise there) She has been portrayed as a  misunderstood outcast who tries very hard to hide her real emotions and is ashamed of her photographic memory which, according to her, makes her a ‘freak’. All that badass attitude, the apathetic looks, her mistrust and suspicion on everyone except of course, the flamboyant Mikael, makes her surprisingly a likable character. We see so many layers of her personality that it’s hard not to get under her skin and look from her point-of-view. Although I did thought that she becomes cozy with Mikael a little early, it kind of makes it a little unbelievable that a girl who is so anti-social would really be all, “Hey, you don’t ask me questions about my life or about my unwillingness to smile. I like you. Let’s sleep together.”

And then she even falls in love with him. I know there are many people who absolutely hated this plot turn but I thought it was a bit endearing. The last paragraph was written so callously, with the thawed out Salander going back to her mold of ice, that I wanted to scream at Mikael.

The book could have benefited from solid editing. It could have made the story fast paced and thus enjoyable to read. Most of us were floundering in the ocean of characters that keep popping up, this eventually hurt the brilliant story, but give it a try. Listen to a little Swedish rock to make the first 200 pages a little easy – after that it’s an easy ride.

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Oh, The Things I Write About

Finals, Books, Health And Other Things


Right so, I never really told y’all how wonderful my finals went.

If you thought I was serious in the first sentence, you obviously don’t know me well enough. Email me! Let me tell you all of my life’s immensely boring  enticing details, where upon you can be my adoring fan.
I’m kidding. But Please feel free to be my adoring fan anyway.

My finals went almost as awesome as Lindsay Lohan’s therapy sessions and I know most of you are like:

No.

And no, I’m not. Look at that beautiful face. Just look at it again until you believe. So yeah, I’ll just go and cut and paste someone’s head onto the body of a unicorn. This is how I display my emotions.
Okay, now that I have answered the burning question on everyone’s mind. I’ll move on to tell you guys that I just finished The Golden Lily by Richelle Mead, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larson and Mocking Jay by Suzzane Collins. Book reviews? Probably.

I’ll probably be making another blog since I recently (6 month-ish?) started doodling and well, I decided why not just dazzle the world with my rough sketches (and my friends pressured me into it. I heart them)

With some shock, I noticed how some kids manage to outrun me. When the game ended, I was a panting disaster and felt like I was 80 years old and a contestant on the Biggest Loser. Such shame. I was disgusted. So, now I’m pretending to be serious over a list that demands I eat practically grass and/or other green shrubs/herbs plus God forbid, do things like crutches, and...more running.  Lord, help-eth moi.

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Oh, The Things I Write About

The Art Of Fake Texting


I am here to discuss the goodness of fake texting. Everybody does it. You do it. I do it. Unicorns Madonna does it, although she’s too darn good for that.

Fake Texting  To Avoid  Certain Unpleasant Individuals:
Ever since God bestowed us with mobile phones, Mankind has been relieved of searching for alternatives (books? Magazines? Sporadic Headaches?) to avoid social interactions with particular people.

You are standing there and you see someone you obviously want to avoid. You’re looking here and there, careful not to make eye-contact, with your heart pounding in your chest. Fear not, just whip out your best friend – that would be your snazzy phone – and pretend to text. Chances are:
a) They wouldn’t see you.
b) When they see how busy you are punching the keypad, they’ll probably leave you alone.
c) They’ll stick around to chat which is totally dumb, youknowwhatImsayin.  You can actually be texting and saving a life, and all that talk is making you stumble on the words you’re trying to write. People here have no soul. Tell them that. It would work.

Fake Texting While You Wait:
Ever felt stupid waiting for someone and have lots of people stare at you as they walk by? I do! Because I was a pretty punctual person back in the days and since punctuality is totes Haraam to majority of the population here. I was the first one to be greeted with strange stares by strange people, and strangely one time, this happened:
I was sitting in McDonald’s, waiting for my friends and the table next to me had two lovely girls around my age. While I was plotting how I would murder each of my friends for this. The girl whispered something to her friend as she glanced at me. She was pretty audible.

“Boyfriend ka wait kar rahi hay.”
“She’s waiting for her boyfriend”

And out came my phone because I didn’t have the energy to engage in a civilized conversation with this lady. At least she thought I wasn’t deprived of some hypothetical texts from my hypothetical boyfriend. The funny thing was when Niqs arrived (who is 100% female) the girls glared at her as if Niqs was hiding a boy under her Kameez/Shirt. I proceeded to give them both “suck it” smiles intermittently – which led them to leave 10 minutes later. Ha!

 Fake Texting To Avoid Situations:
 This one is the most important. For everybody who hates a confrontation or tries to present a ‘neutral stance’ – get that bad boy out. I mean, your phone and start texting. To Noone.
I’ve been to too many dysfunctional dinners where one moment everybody is spitting out unicorn rainbow over Biryani  and the next second, there is a full out brawl. Somebody is obviously filming the scene from a lopsided position to look as if they are texting (fun stuff!). A few others are staring intently at their phones or getting up to take some ’emergency calls’ while the temperature of the room is close to that of a Brazilian Rainforest.
With the recent projects, I obviously had a lot on my plate and thus was less than nice to my fellow group members. What one or two of them did to avoid being yelled/glared/humiliated by me was they took out their I-phones (much, much better than the ghetto phone I own. Another legit reason to be pissed off on)
If you hear your friend being yelled at by their parents, this is the number one thing you should do. Obviously you’ve heard the whole thing but it’s totally better that you should be found doing something.

Why You Should Not Actually Text While Your Fake Texting:

Me: I’m really bored. No one here. I mean, I dunno.
Friend: Where are you?
Me: I dunno. Sad. Food. bweifyewoqhf. You are weird. K.

Or something meaningless than this. God Forbid, you can even sent some of your useless texts to your colleagues or acquaintances and how awkward would that be?

In extreme situation: Pretend to call someone and then have a whole pretend conversation.

Me: “Hello…Yes, this is she…OhMyGod…No…Right…Basically, I think our foreign policy needs a lot of working on… I know right, them samosas are delish… That’s what I keep telling them…as much as sunburns are sexy , you should definitely put some sun screen on…Yes, someone told me it has some cancerous ingredients  (apparently everything causes cancer nowadays) …Oh, no I don’t play tennis but gotta go now, B’bye!”

I tried to explain something in this picture, if you could please ponder over it.

 


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Literature And Other Musings, The Dreary

Ash In Your Mouth


Your mouth is full of ash, but you manage to sputter out pretty words. If I unwrap all of them, they reek of lies and whispers about tearing down

Painting "Still life with white tea-cup&q...

Painting “Still life with white tea-cup”, by Russian artist Kapitolina Rumiantseva (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

my heart.

And then we’re talking again; and I’m counting the time. None of it seems real, especially the winding lines deep in your skin. On your face. One second, one line.
I smile, your eyes linger on my lips.

A frail ray of sunlight hits you in the face, and the tea cup is knocked out of your hands.

The liquid escapes. You curse. Ash everywhere.

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All Your Cakes Are Mine

I Don’t Want Any Crazy Mojo Because I Love My Eyes


This girl just bore the onslaught of project deadlines and presentations, and is currently studying/suffering. Finals. Here.

The entire week had been so crazy, that I could have just asked the Illuminati to help me. After all, hello? Every one knows Beyonce’s gyrating moves are just a huge symbolism for Illuminati’s involvement. That’s how everyone becomes a celeb overnight! They just call up the big dude and go, “Hey mayn, I’m ready to sell my soul, and have my own tub of money. Sure I’ll go to hell and stuff but that’s totes cool.”  and they probably have to cut a pure soul over a sacred piece of rock (Reference: The artistic “Jennifer’s Body” starring tragic pure soul a.k.a Megan Fox) but since I dunno who the big dude is, I would have to work like a slave in the mean time.
That’s Okay with me, I guess. I don’t want an unhinged, monstrous Megan Fox trying to claw my eyeballs out.

Moral of the story: Illuminati can give you fame – and also take your eyeballs.

Look at all the cool tricks I can do – This and eating yo’ face.

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