One of the may-jah dilemmas of my life is that no one in my family takes me seriously.
Case 1: When I hit 12, and decided that to get some attention around this house, I needed to put my raging hormones into good use. So whenever, something went against me, I used to storm off to my room and slam the door shut – and lock it, and then announce to the world (my family+ neighbors + creepy guys[possible rapists] smoking outside our street) that I was never unlocking the door. For some unimaginable reason, my sisters always needed to use the loo/bathroom at that exact moment, and I’m scribbling furious notes on a piece of paper and slipping it through the crack underneath the door telling them that I’m about to dunk my head in the toilet and end my life because no one listens to me, and you’ll have to hold it in because yeah, hi, all of my (dead) hair would be floating in there . And they are all like, You are so disgusting – people do gross things in there. Have fun in your afterlife hanging out with all the poo and urine and stuff.
Which totally makes sense, right? And then I’ll lose my mind and be all whatever but they’re still yelling and banging on the door and I’m like Jesus Christ, if there was a zombie goat invasion, these guys won’t even make it to the next street with their small bladders.
Anyway, back to present times, last night I suggested that since it’s totes Mount Lava here plus vacation time, we should go somewhere other than the park. These were the responses I got:
I totally agree. let’s go to Dubai.
Dubai? With all the heat? No way! let’s go to one of the Scandinavian countries. I’ve been dying to go there. Does anyone know anything about how illegal human smuggling works? We can definitely stuff Fatty in a large suitcase or something. . .
But Wait. I mean, we can always use the money from your secret bank account in Switzerland to go there. Besides human smuggling sounds like hard work, and I’m not carrying the suitcase.
This is such a good idea! Call the private jet and let’s go there – tomorrow!!!
Baffling, right? I’m totally insulted by this display.
P.S: 50TH POST!