As most of you, who very kindly read this blog, know that I recently decided to
go rogue , stopped eating tasty food that is fried in heart-burning oil – no wait, I still do that , try to live in a more healthy way.
I will name what I’m going through as “The ? Cond-ee-shunz” – because
I’m not original, can’t think because I’m fixated at the sight of my fingers this is my blog and I can name anything in any way I want. Ha!
Caused by prolonged deprivation of food laden with sins (also known as calories), being subjected to the sight and feel of the treadmill and watching T.V shows with stupid names like: “The Cupcake Wars”, “MasterChef”, “Man Vs. Food” [ NOT for those who think it’s about a man/woman trying to beat their cravings to a pulp], Food Paradise etc etc. I curse ye to a painful…
Symptoms include: Rage, cramps in legs, buttocks, other strange places due to profuse walking/running, yelling inappropriate things in public, hating Nigella Lawson and other chefs on the food channel (which should be banned for obscene content), expert command in screaming out creative profanities, inexplicable connection with the participants of the Biggest Loser, displays of exaggerated emotions (WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE CAKE IS GONE?! I…I only had just one tiny slice of it. HOW CAN YOU ANIMALS EAT TEH ENTIRE CAKE IN ONE DAY?! *tries to pour coffee into her eyes out of pure horror and cake-famine*)
Treatment: patience, going out and shaking what yo’ mamma gave you [read: exercise], making bets with young kids that you can totally outrun them, and then winning the bet without breaking a sweat! Sweet! and also very therapeutic plus gorging on the healthy stuff that will purify your soul and make you feel supahmegaawesome. Rawr.
P.S: My internet connection is being a pain in the tush. Again. Please excuse the lack of posts.