Oh, The Things I Write About, The Dreary

Hey,This Healthy Business Is Hard Work. Also No Cake. La Tortura, Maybe?


As most of you, who very kindly read this blog, know that I recently decided to go rogue , stopped eating tasty food that is fried in heart-burning oil – no wait, I still do that , try to live in a more healthy way.

I will name what I’m going through as “The ? Cond-ee-shunz” – because I’m not original, can’t think because I’m fixated at the sight of my fingers   this is my blog and I can name anything in any way I want. Ha!

Caused by prolonged deprivation of food laden with sins (also known as calories), being subjected to the sight and feel of the treadmill and watching T.V shows with stupid names like: “The Cupcake Wars”, “MasterChef”,Man Vs. Food” [ NOT for those who think it’s about a man/woman trying to beat their cravings to a pulp], Food Paradise etc etc. I curse ye to a painful…

Symptoms include: Rage, cramps in legs, buttocks, other strange places due to profuse walking/running, yelling inappropriate things in public, hating Nigella Lawson and other chefs on the food channel (which should be banned for obscene content), expert command in screaming out creative profanities, inexplicable connection with the participants of the Biggest Loser, displays of exaggerated emotions (WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THE CAKE IS GONE?! I…I only had just one tiny slice of it. HOW CAN YOU ANIMALS EAT TEH ENTIRE CAKE IN ONE DAY?! *tries to pour coffee into her eyes out of pure horror and cake-famine*)

Treatment: patience, going out and shaking what yo’ mamma gave you [read: exercise], making bets with young kids that you can totally outrun them, and then winning the bet without breaking a sweat! Sweet! and also very therapeutic plus gorging on the healthy stuff that will purify your soul and make you feel supahmegaawesome. Rawr.

 

P.S: My internet connection is being a pain in the tush. Again. Please excuse the lack of posts.

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27 thoughts on “Hey,This Healthy Business Is Hard Work. Also No Cake. La Tortura, Maybe?

    • Boiled Kadoo? I can’t begin to imagine how it tastes like. Gross, but healthy! Props to you! Savor the imaginary sweetness on your tongue.
      That’s the taste of victory and shizz.

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      • Yes, Awesome Is the word.

        I know, I have had many a evenings where I’ve over-eaten at dinner. And thought to myself, man that was a good meal.

        Only to find it in a hours time when Man Vs Food airs, I was severely shortchanged.

  2. Saara says:

    The lack of chocolate often stirs up some horrifyingly scrumptious dreams/fantasies in my head. Do you dream of food, too? Or is it too obvious?

  3. AnkitaD says:

    No cake! I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be going through! Oh you poor Tabby. Hmm . . . That’s it. My list of niceties ran out. But I was genuinely brokenhearted at reading that you have no cake in your healthy food list.

    P.S. I still wonder how you get those talking pictures/broken records. First Castiel (looking up with a dreamy look in my eyes) and now . . . this guy.

    • Sigh. Thank You for the kind words! I can’t do without them.

      You’re just super nice, like cake. See, what’s this horrible world has done to me? Eh, I better stop talking now.
      Ohhh, these are called GIFS! You can find a lot of them at Google Images or Photobucket.

  4. SO funny!

    I’m going back and forth this morning about whether or not to post the recipe for a berry smoothie that I made yesterday….why the indecision? Because it is VERY healthy and does NOT taste very good, IMO. So sad, because I’m sure that quite a few health-conscious (read masochistic) folks would actually LIKE it, but I’m not sure that I can, in good faith, encourage people to drink it! ha ha.

    Keep fighting the good fight m’dear!

    • Hi! 😀
      Hahaha, you totally fooled me there, I thought that the berry smoothie would be delicious, but I guess healthy wins this round.
      Please post the recipe! My sadistic side likes the idea of me chugging down a very healthy smoothie. 😉

      • I posted it yesterday….and added some sweetener to the rest of the batch…much improved. I tried to be good (or better at least) and used a Truvia packet. 🙂

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