Oh, The Things I Write About

This Is Nothing But A Summer Jam…No, It Is Not.

This is me writing a note to the season. 

Dear Summer,

I feel that we are not really connecting, and as the sun’s delicate caresses increase my chances of having wonderful skin cancer (Woot Woot?) let me break this awful news to you: I never really liked you, and secretly hated all the heat that you forced upon me (Assault?) No, I don’t want to go “This is nothing but a summer jam, We’re gonna party as much as we can”  or “We don’t even have to try, it’s always a good time!” with anyone. Vomit. I will not be pulled into this debauchery a.k.a extreme Haraam things. Nopes, Sorry.

While others try to find an excuse to display all sorts of gross nudity, and abhorrent fashion fads that my poor brain can’t stand. Case in point: Hi, we’re some random shitty summer lawn who are trying to pass off as TEH MOST AWESOME THING AFTAAH KITTEHS AND UNICORNS AND U.P.S! Buy us, women of this third world country! We will hunt you for the next 6  months!

Don’t let your babies see what they do to seemingly normal women.

This is not a woman but you got the point.

Sweat. No, I don’t want to see anyone’s sweat covered shirt or  sweat laced armpits, or the lovely stench that wafts towards me which makes me retch or want to undergo a surgery to remove my olfactory senses. Seriously, the latter. Thanks, but no, thanks. Every time somebody raises their arms, an innocent squirrel dies somewhere.

We have no electricity, and as much as I like to enjoy this rustic, 18th century feel; I would rather waste precious energy and sit in an air-conditioned room because of you.

Not-so-much-love and I-like-winter,


P.S: I can always eat ice-cream in the winter, and still be able to Gasp! Wut? enjoy it.

P.P.S: Others can go summer jammin’ for all hellz I do not care!


30 thoughts on “This Is Nothing But A Summer Jam…No, It Is Not.

  1. Summer doesn’t seems to be going anywhere, and it is really getting annoying with the electricity shortages and no rain.

    P.s. I also wonder why out of all the things in the world we focused on lawn.

  2. I’m in Western Guj, here the rainfall has been 97% below the average rainfall. – MET Dept.

    I’m not complaining, I get to play basketball in august as well. Which is rare.

    • Global Warning! It’s not great over here either. I live in northern Punjab, and it is supposed to be pouring right about this time of the year but Nada!

      Haha, of course! Summer will have its perks!

  3. drsuraiyanasim says:

    This is such an amusing post. It made me smile. I hate summers too. Well…now monsoon has arrived…so thank God for that!!! I know about those wretched power-cuts.
    Thankyou for stopping by my blog. Now, i discovered your fun-blog. You write so well! Kudos!

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