Okay, so yesterday a friend of mine was telling me about this “bladeless/ Dyson fan” which because of my ignorance in electronics (and not reading the particular Time issue and being from a third world country –
Can I get a Woot Woot or a Balay Balay?) I didn’t knew existed. Needless to say, I was most stunned and fascinated. Also I saw it in an online store (I have never shopped online before. Ever. I know right? I can see unicorns sobbing over my innocence)
Friend: Let’s buy you something!
Me: Yeah Sure, Let’s also not count the family members at home who never appreciate creativity. So, let me become fifty years old or so, when I’ll be completely independent (Or senile) Then I shall buy every bad ass thing in the world.
I liked the bladeless fan though too.
Friend: But it’s too calm and quiet for you. Totally opposite. Wouldn’t you rather opt for a fan with blades and whirring sounds?
Me: Actually, I was thinking of the bladeless fan as more of a self defense weapon. It looks nice enough to knock someone unconscious plus it’s short. Do you really think I can carry a fan with blades around AND not attract attention, C’mon?
What I was thinking.
Friend: You think? It’s 4 or 5 feet tall. It’s not handy shandy!
Me (Losing my shit): What? The thing looked small. This is completely racist to dwarfs (and me) where the heck are you supposed to put this mammoth piece of technology?
Friend: It’s used like a pedestal fan.
Me: Pedestal fans can be easily lifted and “accidentally” slammed on someone’s face. You guys should specify if this thing can be used as a weapon. Lots of people want to know that.
Friend: I think the idea was to sell it for peaceful purpose and not use it to kill someone.
Me: This is for peace! Self Defense is supposed to be there to maintain peace and shit. (No idea what I’m talking about)
Friend (who is also losing his shit, I think): You talk like a nuclear state.
P.S: This friend researched poorly. There are 2 feet tall fans out there. Rejoice fan-blade haters!