News worthy

“I’m not fair, but I am lovely” – Yes, You Totally Are


I found this on another page, and immediately fell in love.
http://diepiriye.blogspot.com/2008/09/im-not-fair-but-im-lovely.html

#So full of awesome win.
This cultural imperialistic idea of idealized beauty – having fair skin – needs to be shown the backdoor.
Dark skin is NOT a stigma as many “whitening creams” portray it to be in their shoddy advertisements.
Please get this “white skin = meet the prince, job, confidence, susraal of your dreams!” shit off of the television. Thanks.

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Oh, The Things I Write About

Eid, Eidi Dilemma And Henna With An Imaginary Nefarious Plot


So It was Eid.
For all of you who don’t what “Eid” is, I’ll quickly fill you in: It’s a Muslim holiday marking the end of Ramadan (the month of fasting, and inner spirituality) Basically, we make all sorts of yummeries, wear nice clothes, meet and greet relatives even though we don’t want to,  smile at people you actually want to stab and the younger lot get their Eidi (money and gift) from their elders.

Occasionally some elders might try the “cheap ass trick” where they will try to appease you with a 100 rupee* (Or God Forbid, even less than that. Um yeah, hi. This isn’t 1995!) when your feet are touching their plush rug. Irony.

When I was a wee child, so precocious for my age, my uncle tried to hand me a 100 rupee note.

Me (Nausea setting in): Thank you so much, Uncle!

What my face was saying: Oh Hell No. You just made me do my “You-stole-an-unborn-(and obvs, not mine)-baby, I-will-cut-you” face.

So yes, please don’t let any child make their “I will throttle you in your bed” expression. Give them lots of money happiness.

The girls also apply henna on their hands because it’s festive, holla! Henna is pretty, and you can make all sorts of gorgeous patterns over your hands and feet – and it’s totally temporary (Check for allergies though)
Below is a Mehndi cone, I often pretend that it’s the wand that I will use in Hogwarts, or maybe to poke someone’s cornea out. Fun stuff – seriously, there is a needle sticking out of this thing.

Magical Mehndi only for you.

This year, my friends’ hands are a delight to see with their hot damn! color and motifs – while mine looks like I drew Illuminati symbols.  YAY FOR ILLUMEEENATI, amiright? 

Mehndi design that has a mind of its own – Beware!

*100 rupee is not like $100, okay? Our economy is in shambles. 100 rupee doesn’t even get you a Happy Meal! 

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Literature And Other Musings

Fission


I am okay.

Something slithers around my legs, brushing against my ankle. Briefly. Slowly. The sun is setting behind me, the shadows crawl all over the walls. You ignore me in your search for perfection. You have traveled the entire length of the world, hunted in the brightness of the stars, stomped on the craters of the moon. Just to feel it in your hands, in your palms, between your fingers.

Photo Credits: Artwork by Shakir Ali

My head, too awkward for my body, so heavy for my heart, weighs less at the equator.

You will never look at my face, you will never know how the evening sky folds itself into me in a blaze of color.
Perfection lies some 25,000 to 28,000 light-years away.

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All Your Cakes Are Mine, News worthy

I Might Actually Be Liking This Bladeless Fan Invention. It’s Totally Multipurpose!


Okay, so yesterday a friend of mine was telling me about this “bladeless/ Dyson fan” which because of my ignorance in electronics (and not reading the particular Time issue and being from a third world country – Can I get a Woot Woot or a Balay Balay?)  I didn’t knew existed. Needless to say, I was most stunned and fascinated. Also I saw it in an online store (I have never shopped online before. Ever. I know right? I can see unicorns sobbing over my innocence)

Friend: Let’s buy you something!

Me: Yeah Sure, Let’s also not count the family members at home who never appreciate creativity. So, let me become fifty years old or so, when I’ll be completely independent (Or senile) Then I shall buy every bad ass thing in the world.
I liked the bladeless fan though too.

Friend: But it’s too calm and quiet for you. Totally opposite. Wouldn’t you rather opt for a fan with blades and whirring sounds?

Me: Actually, I was thinking of the bladeless fan as more of a self defense weapon. It looks nice enough to knock someone unconscious plus it’s short. Do you really think I can carry a fan with blades around AND not attract attention, C’mon?

What I was thinking.


Friend
: You think? It’s 4 or 5 feet tall.  It’s not handy shandy!

Me (Losing my shit): What? The thing looked small. This is completely racist to dwarfs (and me) where the heck are you supposed to put this mammoth piece of technology?

Friend: It’s used like a pedestal fan.

Me: Pedestal fans can be easily lifted and “accidentally” slammed on someone’s face. You guys should specify if this thing can be used as a weapon. Lots of people want to know that.

Friend: I think the idea was to sell it for peaceful purpose and not use it to kill someone.

Me: This is for peace! Self Defense is supposed to be there to maintain peace and shit. (No idea what I’m talking about)

Friend (who is also losing his shit, I think): You talk like a nuclear state.

P.S: This friend researched poorly. There are 2 feet tall fans out there. Rejoice fan-blade haters!

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Literature And Other Musings

NPR’S 100 Best Ever Teen Novels – Some Nay, Some Yay


Did you see the “100 Best-Ever Teen Novels – Reader’s Choice” by NPR?

The final list was done by popular vote – which is why I see some of the worst, vomit inducing, YA crap there. Example: The Hush Hush Series or The House Of Night – and Twilight.

These are some cancerous books (Though Twishizz seems pretty tame compared to these crack monkeys…I totally said that! Shocking, I know right?) The only redeeming factor is that these books aren’t near the top ten. Harry Potter takes the crown, which kind of made me calm down and not lose my pile of dazzling shit. Anyway, what do you think? I’m raining happy to see “To Kill A Mocking Bird” in the 3rd spot.

Here is the link: http://www.npr.org/2012/08/07/157795366/your-favorites-100-best-ever-teen-novels

 

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