A good haircut can save this world.
Writes2escape,
I want to be cool. Any easy tips? I have been struggling to embrace my inner suaveness for years but alas, it has evaded me.
– Anon
Dear, Anon
I thought you wrote: I want to cure cancer. I was starting to get emotional.
Now I’m not.
I get it. You want to be a smooth criminal, and your chai begs to bring all the boys/girls to the yard. Lucky for you, I have a solution. LIKE ALWAYS.
1. Google a list of obscure music (Don’t write this exact same sentence in the search bar, okz) fill it up in your phone/I-pod then blast it around like nobody’s business. Sneer at everybody who asks which artist you are listening to – after all, you have some pretty kickass taste in music. You won’t even come near the Top 10 shizz, puh-leaze. Continue to act smug until you reach safely inside your home. Feel free to unleash Beyonce or Shakira that are in that hidden folder. Your hips are not included in the lying game.
2. Have an opinion about everything.
(“You have five kids? LOL. Clearly, nobody told you about the population crisis. We live on planet Earth, by the way.)
(“So many problems in this country! Of course, I won’t move my sweet ass to do something about it (obvs, my sweet ass is delicate) but I shall continue to pontificate over how dysfunctional our government is on facethebook like a sesquipedalian analyst. Awesome, amiright?”)
There. Run, child. Your new best friends await you. You’re welcome.
Best,
Writes2escape
Writes2escape's Blog 
Tayabba, you never fail to amuse me! But anon. dude/dudette had a pretty dumb question, poor ol’ soul!
Momina, you khobsuraat. Thankyou.
So very right about being opinionated. but aren’t we all? 😀
You are so right, man.
Tabby, u should join a magazine, u noe in the advise section? It’ll be kickass.
Dude, you’re so cool.
I’ll take you up on that one, sister.
“your chai begs to bring all the boys/girls to the yard”
Is there a secret anu malik hiding inside you? (Anu malik is a indian artist who flicks non-indian music/lyrics all the time. Makes his very own. And apparently it works)
Great advice, maybe a teenage agony aunt in a local daily awaits you?
I think I do know him. Isn’t he the same producer who copies A LOT of Pakistani and western music and dishes out his “rendition” of it? I’m pretty sure that’s him. If yes, then OhMyGod, I’m the new Anu Malik.
Haha, I await ze call of newspapers. If they ever happened to catch a glance of this.
I’ll confess I haven’t listened to much pakistani music, other than nusrat fateh, ali zafar and some naazia hassan(I grew up in a joint family with elder cousin sisters)
Yes, that’s him. Although there are many phonies around. But, Mr.Malik wins due to seniority.
If you ever need a recommendation, I’ll put a nice word in for you, after all I don’t know many people. Who go around saying. “Holy Halwa/Sharwama”
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHA
🙂
i had to look “sesquipedalian” up…
that pic reminded me of a quote: Be obscure clearly.
I had to google the perfect word too – and this just popped up 😉
there are terrible shrinks out there and if you go in this field, you’ll be AWESOME!!:D:D
I KNOW RIGHT?
😀 😀 😀
Gosh Tabby! You never fail to make me smile broadly or even chuckle delightedly! You have amazing humour. Love your sense of raw, in-your-face entertaining energy!
You are like a full, chat-pata Bollywood masala movie!!! 🙂
You are amazing. I wanted to tell you that. I could have told you this before, but still doesn’t change the fact that you are ah-MAH-zing.
Thanks so much for the hot damn comment.
lol on the obscure music! Funny post 🙂
Thank you so much! =D
Looooool omg I have to email you few of my unanswered questions, only to get this type of response. Wait for them!