All Your Cakes Are Mine

My Exciting and Happening Life: You May Get Jealous


Regarding my hip and happening social life, my friend texted me this:

Friend: Let me know when you find some adventure in your life.

Me: Ha ha, Right now the only adventure in my life is seeing the contestants on Masterchef panic. Will the entire Pigeon cook in time?! Oh God. Giving me so much anxiety. Idk.  (Please, don’t judge me. Ok)

[Note: He probably judged me]

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All Your Cakes Are Mine, T.V

How Beyoncé Changes Ordinary Lives


You guys know Beyoncé, right? AKA the ‘unofficial’ queen of the universe. She dropped an album right out of the blue and the universe suddenly exploded (To achieve this level of secrecy, she probably shackled her team to the dungeons or wherever and they haven’t seen their families in months)

Right now she has so much power that if you blinked while watching this GIF, you’d probably get pregnant.

QUEENQUEENQUEEN

QUEENQUEENQUEEN

 

 

 

Anyway, now people around me make her references.

Friend: So he [this guy who’s high like 150% of the time] is like trying to clean up his act, get a job cetera.

Me [dead pan]: Christmas Miracle! Oh My God. I can see the future and it is…NOT HAPPENING.

Friend: No. He’s really serious about it. See, have you heard ‘Halo’ by Beyoncé? It’s like the lyrics are changing –

Me: WAIT. YOU MEAN. BEYONCE IS CHANGING HIS LIFE.

Friend: Wuuuuuttt –

Me: BEYONCE.

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All Your Cakes Are Mine, The Dreary

Office (Mis)adventures Part I


Accidentally stepped on a coworker’s foot at the office.

I seriously felt like a stampeding horse because of the way she almost doubled over in pain. Worse still, she had hurt her hand a few days before so her whole arm was in a sling. I wanted to die.

If I wasn’t concentrating so hard on the godforsaken printer because okay, I get nervous around bits of technology (and they tend to spontaneously explode/malfunction around me) This wouldn’t have happened. I wouldn’t have to bend down to grab the papers and take a step back – AND CRUSH HER TOES LIKE THE HORSE THAT I AM.

Not creepy at all.

Not creepy at all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

For 5 minutes, all I could say was “I’m so sorry!” while gazing in horror at her foot (and the heavily bandaged hand) I don’t think I can ever make eye contact with her after this. Great way to make an impression. Woo.

Apart from the gory drama, I have been eating this cake for the past three days which was awesome until I started getting nauseous at the end.  Of course, I have a crap quality picture which I edited (Meaning: I put in dozens of those Instagram filters, yeah)  I will put it here for your visual pleasure.

You can't see it clearly but heck yes, it was good.

You can’t see it clearly but heck yes, it was good.

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All Your Cakes Are Mine

Yes, This Blog Is Alive


If you’ve been with this blog for a long time (longer than 7 months) you’d probably know (fo’ realz) that I’m not dead – and my promise of “I’M BACK!” is laced with half baked truth (always) and that I will probably return to jot down the immature, the ridiculous and the weird.
I’m currently suffering from ‘permanent upper lip sweat syndrome’ – Summer has been ruthless so far, and I’m thinking that this is what Hell would probably be like. I’m now really worried about my chances. God, is this some sort of sign you’re throwing my way?

In other news, these past 6 months had been a rush. I got done with my 6th semester, and my finals went so very amazing (and I also have an illegal opium farm and a thriving marijuana crop now. Psych!) What is shocking is that I now know  how to make pakoras and fries. Yes, you can eat them and NOT die. How awesome is that! Virtual Hi-fives, y’all. So if I’m ever in that ‘lonely-island-infested-with-potatoes-stranded-me-found-magical-oil-and-utensils-under-mystical-rock‘ situation, I can totally survive. Trust.

potatoe

 

 

 

 

It’s pretty obvious that all good comes with some bad too, so these 6 months weren’t exactly a joyride. I had some health issues, and some academic issues, with some sprinkling of family drama but I suppose, I shouldn’t wallow in despair right now. Especially since I have so much work to actually think about all that.

Yes. I have an internship. Pretty soon, all you will see in this blog will be tales of the murder of my vacations, how I thwarted demonic chairs and bombardment of  food photos.

What is happening in your life right now? Share, Share.

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All Your Cakes Are Mine, News worthy

I Might Actually Be Liking This Bladeless Fan Invention. It’s Totally Multipurpose!


Okay, so yesterday a friend of mine was telling me about this “bladeless/ Dyson fan” which because of my ignorance in electronics (and not reading the particular Time issue and being from a third world country – Can I get a Woot Woot or a Balay Balay?)  I didn’t knew existed. Needless to say, I was most stunned and fascinated. Also I saw it in an online store (I have never shopped online before. Ever. I know right? I can see unicorns sobbing over my innocence)

Friend: Let’s buy you something!

Me: Yeah Sure, Let’s also not count the family members at home who never appreciate creativity. So, let me become fifty years old or so, when I’ll be completely independent (Or senile) Then I shall buy every bad ass thing in the world.
I liked the bladeless fan though too.

Friend: But it’s too calm and quiet for you. Totally opposite. Wouldn’t you rather opt for a fan with blades and whirring sounds?

Me: Actually, I was thinking of the bladeless fan as more of a self defense weapon. It looks nice enough to knock someone unconscious plus it’s short. Do you really think I can carry a fan with blades around AND not attract attention, C’mon?

What I was thinking.


Friend
: You think? It’s 4 or 5 feet tall.  It’s not handy shandy!

Me (Losing my shit): What? The thing looked small. This is completely racist to dwarfs (and me) where the heck are you supposed to put this mammoth piece of technology?

Friend: It’s used like a pedestal fan.

Me: Pedestal fans can be easily lifted and “accidentally” slammed on someone’s face. You guys should specify if this thing can be used as a weapon. Lots of people want to know that.

Friend: I think the idea was to sell it for peaceful purpose and not use it to kill someone.

Me: This is for peace! Self Defense is supposed to be there to maintain peace and shit. (No idea what I’m talking about)

Friend (who is also losing his shit, I think): You talk like a nuclear state.

P.S: This friend researched poorly. There are 2 feet tall fans out there. Rejoice fan-blade haters!

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