All Your Cakes Are Mine

Okay, I have to put this delay on the volatile emotional state I was in. Seriously, I was bawling my eyes out (WHY? GOD? WHY ME? Your good earth is laden with things that are much better than Karelay, so why this pain? ) spouting somethings which could have made Sylvia Plath sound like Ke$ha (This life is an endless unfathomable abyss; a horror show; a palace of nightmares which doesn’t end even when we die…) and literally lying comatose on my bed pretending I was Lindsay Lohan (I want another beer… J.K! Booze is Haraam, yo!) Then, I listened to David Cook for the first time after his American Idol win and his first song post-win which was something about faltering lights. Not sure.

I have come up with the assumption that Cook had an emo phase in his life and I am certainly in need of professional help to be listening to this (Not that he isn’t a talented artist – I prefer my music a little meatier) but then I opened face-the-book and read about some witches writhing in pain and agony in a status open to the world and suddenly, I felt God pouring happiness and sunshine and sparkly unicorns inside me. Wow, I’m a misogynist. Okay then.

Anyway, I promised you, fabulous stars that I’ll give you the in depth showdown to the comment I came across. You can see it in this post (I’m just doing it so you can read more of my stuff even though the comment is only one tantalizing line – You know you want to?)
Anyhooo, ”Inner beauty sh!t” – It’s actually sad that even in today’s surreal world full of high pitched cries of “Everyone is beautiful”, “Love thy body” and  Bruno Mars songs that makes you want to wrap yourself in some disturbing form and hug yourself. You still find people lurking around raining on someone’s ecstatic parade. What makes me double over and snort in derision is that these people actually think they get to decide what is beautiful. No, I shouldn’t just target this category of lovely humbugs. It’s all of us. It’s slightly amusing to find people automatically assume which thing should be called beautiful and which thing should be not.

You still need some ”Inner beauty sh!t” to have a person like you, want you and need you like Helloza? You can’t have real friends without some inner prettiness (Unless you’re Altaf Hussain – then you only need thugs to do that for you)

Love me?

And you know what: What a person is like inside reflects outside on his face as well. Maybe it’s the arch of the eyebrows that shows a certain blunt nature, The high cheekbones that emphasis a reticent side or maybe just the crooked smile. You definitely don’t want people to not want socialize with you not because of your gaping sweaty pit stains but because you be so mean and self absorbed.

Maybe that’s why I look like a cross between Amitabh Bachan, the Navi from Avatar and Veena Malik.

So, everyone of you is perfect and gorgeous just the way you are. Let no one tell you otherwise. And people who want to be your friend will be your friend no matter who you are and what you look like.

Brains and a good personality are sexy traits too, kay? Don’t hate. Appreciate.

Nobody asked me about Inner Beauty!

Oh, The Things I Write About


So, I decided to analyze some music videos since I had nothing better to do. It’s Summer, whaddaya expect? I’m sorry, I won’t be taking my yacht along with my private jet to spend some quality vacations in Venice or Sydney, sipping a drink this time.

Anyhoo, I watched Katy Perry’s  bright, cringe inducing video of T.G.I.F which was supposed to have Katy Perry’s alter ego ”Kathy Beth Terry” a fictitious, nerdy 13 year old trapped in Katy Perry’s body (This is already giving me palpitations.)  Remember, she’s only 13. Thirteen. Will you remember this? Good. Let’s go.

00.03 – Oh, how charming! Serene suburbs with light filtering in through the windows, a boy pedaling away  – Very nice.

Also, just noticed the video is 8 minutes long. Dun Dun Dun Dun.

00.21 – A chicken? Yay!

and then Kathy kicks it across the room! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

00.26Whoa! Her room is worse than mine. Bunch of random dudes lying comatose with festoons of paper thrown all over the walls, the closet, over the bed. Yep, definitely worse than mine. Oh, and a guy sitting in the corner with tape wrapped around him looks dead.

00:30 – She speak-eth! Don’t speak, Kathy Beth Terry. Please. It is grating on my delicate nerves, and they might –
Too late now.

00:32:  it’s the guy from Glee! HOMGHOMGHOMGHOMG! Darren Criss, let’s run away together into the sunset…

I’m serious. I will find you.

00:46 – “Best party ever, WHOO! ”  – Oh Darren, my one and only true love. *Replays the same clip over and over.

00:52 – Shot of dead guy wrapped in tape again.  Only, there’s a pink stuffed toy on his lap and a yellow lion on his shoulder – ILLUMINATI REFERENCE! *Gasp*

Just Kidding! Or maybe…

00:57There’s a stranger in my bed…I thought she was 13?

01:05I smell like a mini bar … What kind of debauchery is taking place in here? Sounds like mah jam, peeps! Count me in! I love drunk people.

J.k! Alcohol is totally Haraam. Lol. See you in the pits of inferno.

01:13 – …That’s disgusting and did I mention she’s supposedly 13.

01:29 – Partaaaay time, y’all! and Kathy is doing Suduko puzzles which is sad because there are many people getting wasted and nothing is more pure or natural than seeing slurred speech and awkward dance moves.

01:47 – ZOMG! It’s Rebecca Black! Like that friday girl!  Like that ”which seat can I taaaakkeee?” girl ! Like that …okay, I know you got it.

01:59 – Black doesn’t look like a 13 year old either. There are several disturbing and creepy comments on the Youtube video affirming that. All I can say is the number of pedophiles are a whole lot more than what everyone thinks.

02:01 – It’s Artie from Glee! who indulges in several disturbing fantasies which include Kathy. *Automatically skips a couple of seconds.

02:48 – Makeover time!

03:10 – Nerdy to Hottie – Grown Woman Hottie that is. She looks like one of the kids’ mum walked in – looking ridiculously out-of-place; Uncanny resemblance to a brace wearing horse.

I just insulted the entire family of horses. Blasphemy.

03:40 – I still can’t grasp the fact that it’s Rebecca Black right there. How much more of this Friday mania do we have to bear? Isn’t the impending doom enough where we are all going to be eaten by savage goats? Seriously though, they should pass a bill or something.

04:21 – Vomiting and fighting ensues. Ew. If only they can bring a shot of Jigsaw from SAW here dragging all of them to his lair – and then maybe amputating one or two of their limbs…

Let’s play a game, Katy

05:12 – Her parents are awfully supporting. Is this all a dream? Could it be the figment of her imagination? Nope. Totally real. I’m sure the local asylum is missing two of their patients. Wasn’t that supposed to be in the story line?

I can’t see any more of this. I’m afraid, I have lost the power to go through with this fest of color and underage drinking and you-know-what. Songs are all about Fridays now, sadly.

Friday hay, kuriyun!

It’s Friday!